OFF-BOARDING

Because You Only Get One Chance to Fire An Employee, You Better Do It Right.

“I’ve had it.  I’m going to fire her.” said Ernie as I answered the phone.  He was fed up with Barbara, his COO, who had been with him from the early days of his business’ inception.

I knew Barbara and Ernie well.  I’d worked with them separately and together as they worked to build Ernie’s business.  Ernie, your quintessential leader, was free-spirited and visionary.  He had a passion and exuberance that inspired his employees, and transitioned prospects into customers.  Barbara brought balance to the equation.  Practical and level-headed Barbara had been instrumental in creating templates and processes.  She understood Ernie’s vision, but stayed focused in the reality of what needed to happen to bring those ideas into fruition.   

Ernie had valued Barbara’s grounded nature and global perspective in the early days.  Her dedication to process and function, freed him to pursue the company’s vision.  But now, as the business had stabilized and grown, he felt inhibited by her involvement.  Ernie recounted to me several instances in which Barbara’s actions had restricted growth or interfered with his authority.  “I need to take back control of my company.” Ernie said, “And she has to go.” 

  

Ernie said he called me for guidance on how to go about this.  He wasn’t concerned about litigation, he told me.  He planned to compensate Barbara well for what she’d helped him to accomplish.  But, he didn’t want to create a permanent chasm to their relationship.  He’d been through that before with another termination and it still haunted him. 

I asked Ernie to share what he had planned to say.  He broke into a mini-speech, role playing his intended conversation with Barbara.  He included details of why Barbara was no longer a good fit, how she would be compensated, and reminders of how they had not seen eye to eye on several issues.  After he was done, Ernie shared with me that he wants it to go smoothly as he may need her on a consultancy level in the future. 

“I’m glad you called.” I tell Ernie, “I don’t think that conversation would have gone smoothly.”

A critical point in terminating an employee is to remember that this final interaction will be a memorable and lasting one.  It will overshadow most other interactions, and will largely determine the employee's attitude about you, and your organization, going forward.  "Off-boarding" therefore, must be respectful, thoughtful, and honest.  

Here are some key points:

1.    Be Gentle – But Get To The Point  Terminations are typically uncomfortable for everyone involved, don’t make it worse by engaging in small talk.  This wrongly suggests that everything is fine just before the axe is dropped.  Instead, give a brief warning statement that you “have difficult news to share”.  Then succinctly state that they are being let go.

2.    Allow Them To Ask “Why?”  Give space for the employee to ask this and other questions (now, and in the stages that follow).  Allow them the opportunity to feel heard.  The process of terminating an employee is just that, a process.  One worthy of a two-sided conversation. 

3.    Explain Without Blame  Share with the terminating employee the reasons things no longer work.  Keep your focus on the actions/behaviors you had hoped to see, but which were not (sufficiently) occurring.  Describing the absence of desired behaviors allows you to explain without blame.  This helps mitigate defensiveness and denial, while also acting as a teaching moment for the departing employee.

4.    Remind Them Of Their Value  Yes!  After describing where they fell short, tell them where they had excelled or where you believe they will excel in their next job.  For some employees this may be a harder stretch, but it helps support their ego, and facilitates their ability to focus their energy toward their next job.

5.    Note Your Appreciation  Most employees have contributed to your organization – acknowledge this and thank them for it.

6.    Go Over Logistics  The above five steps are all intended to be somewhat open and conversational.  Now you can (safely) transition into the logistics of the separation of employment.  It is in this stage that you may begin to engage them in comments relative to the “exit interview”. 

7.    Say Your Goodbyes  End the conversation by thanking them.  It may be for their years of service, for their open sharing during this process of separation, or for other reasons.  If you have a personal friendship with the person you are terminating, this is where you might reconnect with them on that level, speaking to how your (personal) connection will continue.

Other little, but very important considerations are to use a kind voice and to keep your demeanor professional but friendly.  You only get once chance to fire an employee, do it right.

Raising the Bar: How to Ask for a Raise and Increase Your Chances of Getting It

We all hope that when the time comes, our managers will do the “right thing” and give us a raise (without our needing to ask for it).  In reality, however, this is often wishful thinking.  As such we need to proactively protect ourselves and take remuneration negotiations into our own hands.  While the conversation may still be difficult, below are ten steps to making it more palatable and productive: for both you and your manager.

Part 1: Before the conversation:

Tailor your approach - depending on how long you have worked with your manager, you should know his/her interests, needs and goals.  If you don’t, try talking to a trusted colleague who knows your manager better and get an understanding of what is likely to get the best response. Pitching your raise request in accordance with your manager’s needs increases the chances of a successful outcome.

Choose the right time – Contrary to popular belief, there is a good time to ask for more money. Most people wait to have the remuneration discussion at review time, when managers are typically: inundated with similar requests, restricted by end of year budgetary constraints, and focused on your “problem areas” in need of professional development.  Instead, initiate the conversation hot-on-the-heels of a clear and undeniable professional success (e.g. completing a project or exceeding a target). Choosing the appropriate time, gives your request legitimacy.

Make a list - Asking for a raise is about doing MORE than what is asked of you, it is about doing something EXTRA. Therefore, you should go to the meeting armed with a list of the ways in which you have personally added value and made a difference to the organization.  Include absolutely everything that you can think of and then prioritize them in order of weight to support your request.

Get the facts and figures – Gather evidence that supports your list of personal value-adds. Compile the results of the projects completed or measures you have implemented, emails evidencing praise from others in the organization, customer testimonials – whatever you need to demonstrate your value and contribution. Be informed on the salaries of comparable roles both in your organization and industry-wide.  This will assist you in tying the figure you request to a verifiable norm as opposed to a pie-in-the-sky figure.  Websites such as PayScale and GlassDoor may be helpful in establishing these market norms.

Practice makes perfect – Once you have done all of the background work, it’s time to practice! Try “playing it out” with a trusted friend or partner. If this doesn’t feel comfortable, you can record it on your phone or do it in front of the mirror. It is important to become comfortable with the words coming out of your mouth. Try to think about what your manager might say and practice responding to his/her hypothetical comments. Practice will make the actual conversation much more fluid, as the substance will flow more quickly in the face of anxiety.

Part 2: During the conversation

Resist your instincts (avoid complaints and ultimatums) – When you sense push back from your manager, you may be tempted to respond with threats of resignation, illicit knowledge of your colleagues’ pay and/or complaints regarding your (heavy) workload.  Avoid these impulses as they create an adversarial environment in which your manager will be defensive and far less likely to grant your request.  To avoid this, continue to build credibility in the conversation by tying your request back to the data you obtained and your list of value-adds. 

Stay calm and collaborate – Asking for a raise can be a highly emotional experience as remuneration is closely linked with your sense of self worth and self-esteem.  To prevent emotions from taking over, try to imagine that you and your manager are on the same team.  Try to come up with some mutually beneficial solutions with your manager and be responsive to any needs/issues that s/he raises. The deal you strike should be flexible and fluid, walking in with a list of demands is not helpful.

Pitch the raise as step towards creating a future – A raise is likely to result in renewed commitment to both your manager and the organization. Remind your manager of this fact. Use the conversation as a segue into your hopes and dreams for the future (specifically those that will benefit the organization and your manager) and create an action plan in which you are both invested.  

Preserve the relationship and be inquisitive - The point of having this conversation is to set yourself up for the future, not to take a step backwards. Accordingly, every move that you make in the negotiation should continue to build your credibility (even if your request is not granted). If you are rejected, ask your manager to spend some time explaining why and to expressly set out what is required of you in order to be eligible for the raise at a later time. Consider whether there is something that you need from your manager to be in a position where you are outperforming in your role (for example, a greater budget or additional staff).

Part 3: After the conversation

Be creative and have a back up plan - If your request is declined, make sure you have back up plan. In lieu of a raise, consider a package of options that are of low cost to the organization but high value to you.  For example, extra vacation time, stock options or more a flexible working arrangement. You may be able to “repackage” your request in terms of these alternate options.

By following these simple steps, you should be in a much better position to ask for that raise or to renegotiate the terms of your employment.  If, after going through the preparation, you don’t feel like you have a strong enough case, keep your notes and plan to revisit the issue when circumstances have changed. 

Are Metrics Killing Morale?

Metrics.  They’re everywhere.  They’re ubiquitous and overused.  And they’re killing us in the workplace. 

Before entering into private practice, I worked for a non-profit organization that decided to begin a new reporting protocol to track the services used by our client population.  That might sound reasonable, except that a similar program was already in place, and the original reports were not being replaced by this new, more time-consuming one.   Further, there was no clear purpose or benefit for the added information.  Our already over-worked team was shaken at the idea of being asked to duplicate their time-consuming paperwork. 

My husband, an IT professional, has experienced different challenges with metrics.  He has been asked to track and report on the usage of each piece of equipment (information that he notes has never led to change) and each client interaction.  The latter with the unfortunate focus (and reward) being on the number of clients served.  This client-service tracking led some techs to reduce their customer service or take costly short-cuts.  In this case, the metrics incentivized poor service.   

And while working with clients, I have learned of similar challenges and frustrations that were tied to seemingly irrelevant record keeping and tracking.  Some of these situations were at the core of staff member conflicts, taking the form of insubordination, or inter-team conflicts.   

Looking at the above situations, the use of metrics brought about an increase in workplace tensions and conflict, a lowering of productivity and morale, and a reduction in customer service and satisfaction.   How did this happen?  Aren’t metrics supposed to help us improve processes, customer service, and profitability?   As I see it, yes and no.  

Yes, they can (potentially) help us improve these things, but no, they aren’t always the right answer for accomplishing the goal.   

Here’s the limitation - Metrics cannot take the place of good management, careful oversight, or involved, committed employees.  They cannot make necessary inferences and watch for confirmation of the results.  These qualities are why we prefer a person for customer service over an automated system.  And these human elements are at the core of eliminating theft, building productivity, and enhancing customer interaction.  Humans have the ability to ask a question, seek more information when needed, interpret, intuit, and comprehend.  Data limits this – and us.   

If we really want to bring about important change, or track concerns or issues in the workforce, we need to communicate this to our managers and employees.  We must enlist their intelligence, creativity and support in accomplishing the goals intended.  We need to engage them in planning, and conversely, we need to listen to their needs.  To accomplish our goals and build a strong team, we need to bring about change in a cohesive way; One that allows for unguarded information sharing, open communication and reciprocal trust.  Only then can we begin to work collectively to reaching our goals – and only then will the goals actually matter.

Deciding Who's First

Whether you are married, have children, or single and on your own, when it comes to personal matters, it’s often hard to find the right balance of taking care of your family, yourself, and ‘being there’ for other friends and loved ones. 

Your mental debate may even lead to conflict if others who learn of your choices, don’t approve.  Below are some thoughts/guidelines for managing these issues while improving your relationships with others.

1.      Be True to Yourself – Prior to making a decision, and certainly before communicating that decision to others (who may not approve), think about why that decision makes sense for you.  For example, say you are choosing to get a massage instead of helping your cousin.  What are the reasons for that decision?  Is it because you two have a difficult relationship?  Because he’s never helped you when you needed it?  Because your back is injured and the masseuse can only fit you in when your cousin needs you?  Think about the reasons for making what could be termed a “selfish” choice.  Often times “selfish” choices occur as a result of a damaged relationship, and the desire to avoid or punish the other person.

2.      Be Honest – Keeping your rationale to yourself isn’t helping.  And, it will likely build added resentment from others if it is misunderstood.  In making a choice that others can’t readily appreciate, be prepared to communicate your reasoning with those impacted by it.  (For guidelines on having those conversations see my earlier article).

3.      Know Your Priorities – Sometimes, it isn’t a selfish choice that becomes a challenge.  It’s the reverse.  Perhaps a friend wants to see you (and you them) but it means your child will have to endure a play-date with a child she doesn’t like, or be left with a babysitter you don’t feel great about.  Here your concerns are letting someone down one way or the other.  While your child may forgive you more easily, or be simpler to bribe with a toy or dessert, think about which choice makes you feel better as a person.  Worry less about how your rationale sounds to others, and more about your own conscience and what helps you to sleep well at night.  Let that feeling guide you. 

4.      Don’t Make Excuses – When communicating your choices, don’t turn them into excuses.  Explain yourself directly and with factual points, including any notes about how you might be able to compromise, or make it up to the other person, if that is what you want to do. 

5.      Hold Your Head High – This is just a reminder that if you are true to yourself, honest with others, communicate clearly, and make added efforts when reasonable, you should be able to feel good about yourself, your decisions, and your relationships with others.