Raising the Bar: How to Ask for a Raise and Increase Your Chances of Getting It

We all hope that when the time comes, our managers will do the “right thing” and give us a raise (without our needing to ask for it).  In reality, however, this is often wishful thinking.  As such we need to proactively protect ourselves and take remuneration negotiations into our own hands.  While the conversation may still be difficult, below are ten steps to making it more palatable and productive: for both you and your manager.

Part 1: Before the conversation:

Tailor your approach - depending on how long you have worked with your manager, you should know his/her interests, needs and goals.  If you don’t, try talking to a trusted colleague who knows your manager better and get an understanding of what is likely to get the best response. Pitching your raise request in accordance with your manager’s needs increases the chances of a successful outcome.

Choose the right time – Contrary to popular belief, there is a good time to ask for more money. Most people wait to have the remuneration discussion at review time, when managers are typically: inundated with similar requests, restricted by end of year budgetary constraints, and focused on your “problem areas” in need of professional development.  Instead, initiate the conversation hot-on-the-heels of a clear and undeniable professional success (e.g. completing a project or exceeding a target). Choosing the appropriate time, gives your request legitimacy.

Make a list - Asking for a raise is about doing MORE than what is asked of you, it is about doing something EXTRA. Therefore, you should go to the meeting armed with a list of the ways in which you have personally added value and made a difference to the organization.  Include absolutely everything that you can think of and then prioritize them in order of weight to support your request.

Get the facts and figures – Gather evidence that supports your list of personal value-adds. Compile the results of the projects completed or measures you have implemented, emails evidencing praise from others in the organization, customer testimonials – whatever you need to demonstrate your value and contribution. Be informed on the salaries of comparable roles both in your organization and industry-wide.  This will assist you in tying the figure you request to a verifiable norm as opposed to a pie-in-the-sky figure.  Websites such as PayScale and GlassDoor may be helpful in establishing these market norms.

Practice makes perfect – Once you have done all of the background work, it’s time to practice! Try “playing it out” with a trusted friend or partner. If this doesn’t feel comfortable, you can record it on your phone or do it in front of the mirror. It is important to become comfortable with the words coming out of your mouth. Try to think about what your manager might say and practice responding to his/her hypothetical comments. Practice will make the actual conversation much more fluid, as the substance will flow more quickly in the face of anxiety.

Part 2: During the conversation

Resist your instincts (avoid complaints and ultimatums) – When you sense push back from your manager, you may be tempted to respond with threats of resignation, illicit knowledge of your colleagues’ pay and/or complaints regarding your (heavy) workload.  Avoid these impulses as they create an adversarial environment in which your manager will be defensive and far less likely to grant your request.  To avoid this, continue to build credibility in the conversation by tying your request back to the data you obtained and your list of value-adds. 

Stay calm and collaborate – Asking for a raise can be a highly emotional experience as remuneration is closely linked with your sense of self worth and self-esteem.  To prevent emotions from taking over, try to imagine that you and your manager are on the same team.  Try to come up with some mutually beneficial solutions with your manager and be responsive to any needs/issues that s/he raises. The deal you strike should be flexible and fluid, walking in with a list of demands is not helpful.

Pitch the raise as step towards creating a future – A raise is likely to result in renewed commitment to both your manager and the organization. Remind your manager of this fact. Use the conversation as a segue into your hopes and dreams for the future (specifically those that will benefit the organization and your manager) and create an action plan in which you are both invested.  

Preserve the relationship and be inquisitive - The point of having this conversation is to set yourself up for the future, not to take a step backwards. Accordingly, every move that you make in the negotiation should continue to build your credibility (even if your request is not granted). If you are rejected, ask your manager to spend some time explaining why and to expressly set out what is required of you in order to be eligible for the raise at a later time. Consider whether there is something that you need from your manager to be in a position where you are outperforming in your role (for example, a greater budget or additional staff).

Part 3: After the conversation

Be creative and have a back up plan - If your request is declined, make sure you have back up plan. In lieu of a raise, consider a package of options that are of low cost to the organization but high value to you.  For example, extra vacation time, stock options or more a flexible working arrangement. You may be able to “repackage” your request in terms of these alternate options.

By following these simple steps, you should be in a much better position to ask for that raise or to renegotiate the terms of your employment.  If, after going through the preparation, you don’t feel like you have a strong enough case, keep your notes and plan to revisit the issue when circumstances have changed. 

Are You A Decision Maker?

Gary and Jason (not their real names) have been business partners for over a decade. But while their joint practice is blooming, their partnership is in trouble. Why? Decision making, essential to the forward momentum of their business, has been stalled.

The impetus for this struggle is Jason’s assistant Damian, who is also his brother-in-law.  Damian is not able to keep pace with the growing demands of the job, and overflow work has fallen on the shoulders of Gary’s assistant, Brenda.  The result: frustration, resentment, and a bottle-necking of work.  Making matters worse, while Gary addressed his concerns with Jason, Jason held off taking any clear actions.  Now, communication between the two has become stilted, and both recognize the practice is beginning to suffer.  To date they have lost one large business prospect, and are at risk of losing two current clients.  Further complicating the situation, Brenda has become irritable and Gary is concerned she may quit. Gary and Jason are considering the need to divide the business, each taking a portion of the clients with him.  At the recommendation of their accountant, the two agreed to meet with a facilitator to discuss their options.

When I met with Gary and Jason, each expressed concerns about the health of their business and their partnership.  Both also acknowledged struggles on the customer service end.  However their solutions to these issues were not well-aligned.  Jason expressed a committed to staying together and hiring more staff.  Gary was set on separating their practice and ending their partnership. 

Through the facilitative process, Gary was asked to clarify his reasons for wanting to dissolve their business. As he expressed his concerns about Jason’s management (and lack thereof) of staff, Jason brushed it off. When Jason was asked to explain his position and his efforts to manage staff – he became defensive and resistant.

Jason’s failure to take action, or even explain his reasons for not doing so, had become the primary source of the contention between he and Gary. Yet he continued to point to other issues. What Jason struggled to realize: His brother-in-law was no longer the problem, his refusal to take action was.

I worked with Jason and Gary to identify the initiating event (Damian’s inefficiency) and the progressive costs resulting from Jason’s reluctance to address the issue head-on.

The cost of this indecision:
- Work suffered (with internal and external impacts)
- Decreased ability to earn money
- Anxiety and loss of sleep
- Damaged relationships (professionally and personally)

As the discussion continued, it became clear these costs were not incurred by Jason or Gary alone. Other employees were impacted. Clients were impacted. Their families were impacted.

I asked Jason, “Did you knowingly sacrifice all that (the costs previously outlined), to protect Damian from potential job loss or hurt feelings?” It seemed ridiculous, in this light, that Jason had actually done just that. Through the facilitative process Jason took ownership for the situation that had come to pass. And, he and Gary became realigned as they planned the steps toward stabilizing their practice.

Jason, like many people, had become paralyzed with fear. To avoid dealing with a difficult issue, he lived only in the moment – and the moment never felt right for giving feedback or terminating a family member.

The lesson is this: Indecision and stagnancy, regardless of the reasons behind them, will lead to more problems. Some far greater than the initiating circumstances. With this in mind, I encourage you to examine your own life – What decisions are you putting off? What is the price you are paying for that indecision? What help do you need to begin the forward momentum that will bring you success?

Step One: Stop Checking Your Email

I mentioned to a colleague my desire to have a day of work – when everything else in the world is on hold – so that I could feel caught up.  He laughed and expressed a shared interest in that “extra” time.  Why, I wondered, if everyone I know is feeling over-extended – do none of us seem to have a handle on what’s causing it?

Here’s my two cents…This feeling exists because we never stop working.  We leave the office, but take our smart phone. 

 

We check messages, respond, and review late into the evening and first thing in the morning.  And yet we feel ourselves fall farther and farther behind.  Why?  This constant effort actually compromises us - both personally and professionally.  By checking email we:

1.    Reduce our ability to have downtime.  To refresh, refocus, renew.  A rested brain is more creative, resilient, and productive.  By doing less, we actually accomplish more.

2.    Forget to respond.  Reading an email while in line at the grocery store does not allow you the time (or focus) to answer a question, consult a colleague, or check your calendar.  The result?  You postpone it, and like many of us, neglect to review those older “read” emails on your next day at the office.  Your attempts at efficiency have now delayed a response or cause it to be forgotten altogether.

3.    Fracture our relationships.  By taking “just a minute” to check our messages we demonstrate a lack of respect and lack of care for those around us.  Their level of priority is literally and figuratively lowered.  This is as true when we go to lunch with a colleague as it is when we are with a child.  Does anyone remember the song “Cats in the Cradle”?  Rather than apologizing for our busy-ness, let’s try to stay in the moment – especially with friends and loved ones.

4.    Affect our mood.  When a Sunday afternoon is interrupted by worry about a client’s email or the ‘need’ to respond to a colleagues questions, it impacts our ability to be in the moment.  Instead of enjoying a spiritual connection, the sounds of nature, or the view in front of us, we are distracted by work.  Our mood is compromised by the interruption, consequently impacting those around us.

5.    Miss opportunities.  Whether it’s the “fly ball” that brought home the winning run or your child’s first time making it all the way across the monkey bars, by looking down at your phone, or being otherwise distracted by work, you pay the price of losing these precious moments that cannot be recaptured.  Have you ever wondered what else you are missing?   

6.    Make excuses for other internet distractions.  Email is our gateway drug – once we are done checking those messages, we are given to checking for others on social media, or using the internet to quickly buy or research something.  All of this extending our time online, making us feel at work.  Last year’s viral video “Look Up” put emphasis on the costs of this behavior. 

7.    Increase our health risks.  Beyond the impact of blue light on our vision, computer and cell phone usage is responsible for a variety of other medical issues including stress, depression, headaches, and sleep disruption.

So here’s step one:  We need to stop checking our email when we are not on “work” hours.  Whether that means going cold-turkey or beginning a gradual shift, it is a step in the right direction.  And we may all reap the benefits. 

Be A Leader Worth Following

Before I begin any workplace engagement, I ask the person informing me of the problem one important question:          

“If I determine that you are at the core of some of these issues, how do you want me to tell you?”  I ask this because problems do not happen in isolation.  Very commonly, they trickle down from the top.  From leadership missteps to flaws in the organizational structure.  My role, as I see it, is not just helping the individuals, but the company as a whole.

 

          From this vantage point, I have learned a lot about the characteristics that make a good leader, and about those well-intentioned qualities that sometimes undermine growth and success.

Here is what all leaders should know:

Leaders should be visionaries – Look ahead at what is coming, determine where the organization is heading; Great leaders must be reflexive and able to pivot and adjust as situations emerge – both internally and externally.  Whether it is adjusting to market fluctuations or acknowledging a gap in training or technology, a great leader takes swift action to rectify a problem and funds a budget that can support unforeseen demands. 

Leave people issues to your managers – Nothing undermines organizational stability more than a leader who inserts him/herself into staffing issues.  It undermines the authority of your managers, disrupts the process of addressing behavioral issues, and leads to claims of favoritism and unfair work practices.

Keep connected with your staff – on a macro-level.  Instead of having an “open-door” policy (which invites complaints that belong at the manager level) make a habit of walking through your office, getting to know your staff, and learning what is/isn’t helping them to get the job done.  Your focus is on the organization, and your staff is the first to know if an initiative isn’t working.  Engage with them for the purpose of making the company better.

Recognize the impact of employee morale – While leaders need to stay out of the fray, they must also support initiatives that help or engage their employees.  If employees are championing a measure – do what you can to support it.  This may mean investing in training, supporting team development, or bringing in a consultant to resolve conflicts that are undermining communication or productivity.  Be aware that budget constraints are rarely seen by employees as an acceptable reason for stalling on these efforts. They will quickly look to other expenditures that should be cut.  Address their concerns in a fashion that demonstrates their value to you and the organization – the return on your investment will be palpable. 

Set a positive and inspirational tone – for the whole team.  At regular intervals (preferably at an all-staff meeting) share the direction of the company, and what is expected of them to make the vision a reality.  Every member of your team should recognize their importance and contribution to the company’s success, and should feel motivated to help the company get there.

Model honesty – Owning mistakes and taking responsibility for making things better is vital to long-term success.  Modeling this behavior – whether acknowledging a venture didn’t go as planned, or that lay-offs will be necessary – isn’t easy, but it goes a very long way toward creating accountability and shared responsibility for success.  By humbly owning your mistakes, you demonstrate the importance of this virtue while also silently encouraging your team to inform you if they foresee problems on the horizon.