Lochte-ing Down On Bad Behavior

Ryan Lochte, it seems, has been given a chance to redeem himself to the American public by “Dancing With The Stars.”  I for one, don’t intend to give him that second chance. 

Ryan Lochte embarrassed not just himself, but his team and his Nation on the International stage known as the Olympics.  Once caught, he didn’t even have the decency to apologize or take true responsibility.  He vandalized, he fabricated, and he lied. Ryan Lochte’s behavior is noteworthy beyond the Olympics – because within this incident, is a lesson to be learned for all businesses. 

The Lochtes of the world exist in every industry.  You know who they are.  The marketing genius, the legal whiz, the one who breaks sales records month after month.  They are the champions of their business – and the ones whose bad behavior gets a pass. 

This isn’t about a single incident or indiscretion.  This is about on-going, escalating, and potentially reckless behaviors.  Behaviors that are largely ignored because the benefits (increased sales, new clients) seem to out-weigh the drawbacks.  And in the short term they may.  But high employee turnover, poor morale, damage to the reputation of your business, all have a far greater impact than a quarterly sales bump.

I don’t know Ryan Lochte, but I am certain this was not his first mis-step.  The crime, deception, and repeated lies to cover it up are not the act of a first time offender.   These are the actions of someone who believes they are untouchable and above the rules.  Someone who has been given a pass or a slap on the wrist, but has never been forced to suffer the significant consequences which teach us to adjust our behavior.

Who is like this at your company?  How can a business “Lochte-down” on such problem behaviors? 

1.    Honor the business by building a culture that values long term successes over short term gains.  Especially where sales numbers or share-holder returns are important, it can be easy to become short-sighted.  Remember, the damage done by a tarnished reputation is far more devastating and lasting than a quarterly win.

2.    Address problem behavior every time.  Especially when there is a pay-off for the business.  Yes, you closed a big deal, won the big case, or thwarted the competition, but if these wins came unethically – they aren’t really a win.  And to ignore the problem behavior suggests that it is condoned, or even acceptable.  Every member of the team will become aware of what the company values, and will either jump on that band-wagon (like Lochte’s teammates), or leave the company. 

3.    Hold them accountable.  Have and maintain high standards of behavior.  If an employee behaves inappropriately – be it toward another member of the staff, with a client or toward a competitor, have an action plan for dealing with it.  This may include a write-up, suspension without pay, even termination.  Keep in mind, without a consequence or down-side, most problem behavior will not change.  Ultimately it is the company that models the behavior others will follow – by demonstrating what is and isn’t acceptable.  

      Side-note:  Handle consequences, and even termination, with a level of respect that makes the person want to improve.  (See my article on Off-Boarding.)

4.    Engage in coaching.  Perhaps you can’t bear to lose a champion of your team no matter how bad the behavior has gotten.  Address the behavior directly by bringing in a coach and being crystal clear with the concerns and objectives.  This builds on #2 (Address problem behavior) because there must be honesty about the reason for the coaching if you want it to bring about change.

5.    Speak of the integrity of your business – and demonstrate the sincerity of that message.  Employees want to hear a positive message - one they can stand behind.  They also want to see actions that back up the words.  They will take notice when positive and appropriate behaviors are rewarded, just as they do when challenging behaviors are condoned.    

  

      Each organization must find its own place of pride, just as each Nation does.  The strength of many, can be overshadowed by the mis-steps of a few.  Take steps to "Lochte-down" problem behavior, before it impacts your bottom line.

Office Politics

Politics is not the art of the possible. It consists in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable.    

~John Kenneth Galbraith

Office politics may be something we all talk about – but in an election year, particularly this election year, the expression takes on a whole new meaning.  Strong opinions and reasonable criticisms (about both front-runner candidates) can cause employees to polarize.  Even employees who typically get along may find themselves involved in tense discussion, or worse.  

Friendly conversation or current events can lead to a heated debate.  Clashing opinions between employees at different levels of the organization can lead to feelings of insubordination or intimidation.  And with social media - posts on Facebook now bring colleagues into awareness of each others Political leanings even if not disclosed in the office.   

Worse still, consider your most forceful and opinionated staff.  Might they engage in political conversations with the intent of persuading others to (or away from) a candidate?  

What happens when any of these situations gives way to repeat interactions?  Things become far more complicated.  While some staff may successfully stay out of the fray or fervently refuse to share their opinions, others may feel pushed, challenged, or bullied by these interactions.

Though we might hope that all of this will blow-over, we are months away from the general election.  And it is these on-going office politics that threaten to derail a business as they undermine morale, hinder teamwork and damage productivity.  They may even lead to more troubling (and potentially litigious) behaviors – all of which are sure to linger beyond Election Day.

The best strategy for keeping these office politics at bay is to get in front of them and plan ahead (as much as is still possible). 

1. Review your company policy on social or political behaviors at work.  This may also overlap with your policies on diversity.  Are there policies addressing the use the display or demonstration of affiliations, etc.?  Do you need to revise these?

2. Determine what constitutes acceptable company behavior.  Some thoughts to consider:

• If friendly debate/conversation is allowed, is it limited to lunch and break rooms?
• Can a person post their affiliation in their office/cubicle?
• Is staff allowed to congregate or campaign on company grounds?
• How does title/role play a part in determining what a person can/can’t say?

3. Consult your corporate attorney.  While 1^st Amendment Rights were created to establish political freedom, the workplace is not public property and therefore is not the appropriate forum for enacting those rights.  What steps can you take?

4. Engage your staff.  Be clear with all staff about the company’s position regarding these actions.  Create a clear path for staff to follow should any concerns arise.  Be specific about rules and consequences.

5. Be Consistent.  Nothing is more troubling or will lead to more discord than allowing some individuals to express their beliefs freely while other are held accountable.  This is especially true if the rules seem to favor a certain individual, a particular rank within the company, or a given political party.

We Must Connect – (Let’s make it our New Year’s Resolution)

I am frustrated.  We’re all frustrated.  And sad.  And angry.  And feeling so painfully helpless.  We point our angry, helpless finger at seemingly responsible aspects of our society:  Gun legislation, mental health issues, and violence in the media.  We point a finger and place blame, all the while neglecting to notice the bigger issue, the one in which we are all responsible and can all make an impact – the need to foster and heal our own relationships.

We are losing our ability to make profound and important connections, even with those we love most.   Most concerningly, with the youngest members of our society - children.  Where does this void lead them?  Isolation, depression, acting out?   And in some sad situations, it has the ability to lead to extreme behaviors as well.  This may not mean picking up a gun…but it might mean finding ways to “connect” that involve illicit drugs, or joining fringe groups that fill a missing sense of belonging.  It may mean suicidal behaviors.

We see children of all ages detached from their families – playing on handheld devices of various forms.  Parents, grandparents, and other caregivers do the same as they text and connect with others while their children shout, “Watch me! Watch me!”  And these children get older, having never fully adopted healthy skills of social interaction.  Their fractured ability to connect is evident as they fail to interact with their peers – often texting in lieu of face to face interactions.  I fail to see any upside to this.

Are we – collectively - raising a generation of detached children?  A generation who are profoundly more detached that any previous one due to our behaviors and choices.  “I don’t have kids” you say.  But no doubt you grew up making eye contact with people other than your parents.  You still do this today, though probably not as routinely, because you learned how.  We all need to get back to this.  We all have a stake in the game when we too are at risk of experiencing violent or deadly behaviors.

An FBI study of shooter incidents in the United States from 2000 – 2013 shows an alarming trend of an increased frequency of such incidents.  What else has changed drastically in that time period?  Not gun ownership, not mental health issues.  What has changed is our use of and reliance on social media.  In fact it has grown with exponential force. 

As a society we need to bring change.  None of us can excuse our own behavior when it involves using our smart phone while in the company of others.  Whether we know the people we are with or not.  We must realize that we are a part of the problem and a part of the solution.  Failing to do so is damaging the fabric of our society, and with each new act of violence, we feel our safety compromised, and the rug being ripped out from underneath us a bit more.  We must connect.

Lessons Learned from a Blue Dog

As I was driving my daughter home from school one day we discussed her most recent, holiday inspired, work of art.  I suggested that we temporarily place it where we had hung her “Blue Dog” painting.  She agrees…and then a few moments later asks, “Don’t you like my Blue Dog?”  Surprised, as I absolutely love her art work and frequently tell her so, I said “Of course I do.” – Then I went on to explain the limited space we have for hang-able art.  “But” she says, “I heard you say you didn’t like ‘Blue Dog’”.  And she was right.  I had said exactly that.  What she didn’t know however, was that I wasn’t referring to her artwork, but a restaurant I wasn’t fond of.  That conversation had happened two weeks earlier.  Right in front of her.  And I never gave it a thought.

 

For two weeks my daughter sat with that criticism while her Blue Dog hung prominently in our home. 

Why does this matter to you? 

This misunderstanding hits at the core of how many conflicts develop.  My daughter heard me right – but understood me wrong.  How could she have known – or even anticipated that?  How did this impact her for the two weeks she sat on it?  How often were her emotional outbursts and challenging behavior (which were worse during that timeframe) directly related to her being hurt by me?

In both our workplace and our personal lives we are capable of experiencing these misunderstandings.  We feel certain and convinced that the hurt was intentional – How could anything else be the case?  And yet, the Blue Dog teaches us.

Here are the lessons I hope to bring:

Be Brave.  When you feel hurt, talk about it with the person that hurt you.  (If a 6 years old can do it, so can you).

Give the Benefit of the Doubt.  It may look, sound, or feel like someone is being unkind, unfair, or intentionally hurtful.  But before you make that determination, talk to him/her.  There may be more going on than meets the eye.

Ask Questions.  Don’t look to prove your case or find evidence supporting your belief.  Instead, ask questions to find out more information.  It’s ok to be persistent if you are confused by the initial answers.  Had my daughter simply stopped asking questions when I said “Of course (I like her Blue Dog)”, she may have thought I was lying or trying to deceive her. 

Be Open to the Conversation.  When you are being asked questions about your intent, or more to the point, being told you’ve hurt someone, listen to them.  Try to understand where your actions have created pain or harm for someone, and offer clarity, perspective, or even an apology when appropriate.

Forgive.  Hurt, caused with or without malice, can bring out the worst in us.  My daughter had to make peace with the knowledge that I had not intended to hurt her so she could release her pain.  I had to let go of my irritation with the anger she had been displaying.  We both needed to forgive each other.

I was reminded of all this and more from my daughter.  I thanked her for her courage.  I encouraged her to continue to confront the things that hurt her.  I forgave her for the behavior that had come out of that experience. 

I encourage you to do the same.