Feeling Overstressed? Try a mini-vacation

Whether it’s the pressures of work, the demands of our personal lives, a sudden crisis, or the on-going and chronic problems we must work through, most of us feel stressed and tense on a regular basis.  What we need is a vacation; A break from it all.  Unfortunately a true vacation is often not practical or possible.  And, it often provides only a temporary fix before the stressors return.

My solution to this is the mini-vacation.  A special break that can be enjoyed in just a few minutes – often all that we can spare.  Better yet, the mini-vacation is easily cost-free.  The important part is that it is scheduled – like a vacation, and is undisturbed “you” time.
  

Following are some ideas for having a mini-vacation.  This list is far from exhaustive, so please be creative and think up your own!

1.       Stare out the window.  Maybe you have a nice view of the City, a Lake or Ocean.  Look at the grand scene, or take note of the trees blowing in the wind.  Enjoy the quiet of this moment.

2.       Give yourself a hand massage.  Get some lotion with a fragrance you enjoy, take off any jewelry that would interfere and give yourself a slow nourishing massage of the fingers, wrists, and thumbs.

3.       Listen to some music.  Ideally, be able to do this with your eyes closed.  Hear the music without distraction.  Enjoy the melody, lyrics, or beat of the music.

4.       Stretch.  Stand up and stretch your back, your shoulders and neck.  Do a few yoga poses.  If you like, incorporate music into this moment.

5.       Read a book or article.  This is pleasure relaxation reading – the kind you wish you had time to do.  Allow yourself to escape into the characters and to read without interruption.

6.       Take a walk.  Getting outside to feel the sun, the wind, even the rain, can be refreshing and invigorating.
 

7.       Call a friend – If you feel socially isolated, and this is your biggest desire, this may be your ideal mini-vacation.  Be sure to limit your calls to people who inspire you and make you feel good.

8.       Daydream – Imagine being someplace where you are relaxed and happy.  Visualize it.  Hear the sounds that would surround you.  Make the day-dream as real as possible by combining it with music or a photograph if that helps you to escape into the moment.

9.       Write a letter – Perhaps you wish you had more time to correspond with others.   Write a letter to an old friend or loved one.

10.   Look at old pictures – Do you have an online photo account through Shutterfly, Flickr or SmugMug?  Revisiting happy memories of other “real” vacations and seeing images of your friends, children, or pets can revitalize and bring a smile to your face.

By putting your mind and body in a happy zone, even if only for a few minutes, you are giving yourself a much needed vacation from the rest of the stress that surrounds you.  So go on, schedule your mini-vacations, you deserve it.

Surviving Holiday Conflict

If you find that 'the most wonderful time of the year’ is instead filled with tension, you’re not alone. Conflict often comes from difficulties associated with negotiating time spent among loved ones and over concerns of past conflicts re-igniting or new ones emerging. Add in a little too much "merry-making" and issues of addiction and inappropriate behavior can sneak up on you, too.  While stressful on their own, these events are then co-mingled with what are supposed to be joyous and happy celebrations, often making survival the real goal of the holiday season.

Here are some suggestions for handling these difficult situations – and getting through this year’s holiday season - unscathed.

1. Identify the Problem – Are you concerned about cutting short your time with an ailing relative? Do you worry about the impact of Uncle Bob’s drinking on your teenage kids? Is your sister always dragging you back into childhood conflicts? Whatever is causing you anticipatory stress needs to be revealed for healing to take place.
2. Have a Plan – Think through your situation, and decide what is best for you over the holidays. If you have a spouse or child, consider their interests as well. Then talk about it with someone you trust to give you feedback and support. While your ideal solution may be impractical or overly selfish, it helps to start out by knowing what you want, and identifying what matters most to you. Once you do, making a compromise or stretching your comfort level will have a clear purpose and intent.
3. Expect it – Sure, it seems foolish to worry about something that may not happen, but it’s on your mind anyhow. Avoiding such thoughts leaves you unprepared and caught off guard when the problem comes up. Expecting the problem means having a contingency plan. Perhaps it’s to leave the house if Uncle Bob starts drinking, or to plan to say “I always enjoy seeing you, please let’s not argue” if your sister provokes you. Being prepared will help you to feel happier and more confident leading up to those difficult encounters.
4. Enlist an Ally – Your spouse, or another relative/loved one (who will be with you over the holidays), can prove to be a valuable asset as you navigate difficult waters. Explain to them the problem and your plan for coping with it, and ask for their assistance. Let them know if you’d like them to intervene, come to your defense, or simply provide moral support.
5. Share Your Decisions – Often conflict occurs because a person’s actions or behaviors are surprising and misunderstood. To prevent your self-preservation strategy from causing new issues, keep others informed of the decisions you make. Let your Mother know why you’ll be spending a disproportionate amount of time with your in-laws this year. Tell the host/hostess that you plan to leave if Uncle Bob starts drinking or your sister becomes unrelenting in her conversations with you. By letting others know your boundaries, you help them to honor them.

We hope these ideas help, and that your holiday season  is a whole lot brighter as a result.  Happy Holidays!