Why I Hate the Law

Do you know what I find frustrating?  Laws.  I find them frustrating because the effort to follow the law often neglects to bring resolution to the problem it’s intended to resolve.  My clients often engage me for this very reason.  They want to bring real change, but simply keeping with the law doesn’t get them there. 

Take for example AB1825, a law enacted in 2007 requiring Sexual Harassment training.  While businesses dutifully follow it, thereby demonstrating legal compliance, there has been no discernable drop in the prevalence of sexual harassment claims in the decade since its inception.  The EEOC study report on these findings was released this summer.  They also found that policies to address discrimination and harassment, though less studied, have similarly poor results. 

Sadly, none of this information surprises me.  Why?  Because AB1825 gave employers a single answer to a multi-faceted problem.  Much like many other laws, the outcomes were an afterthought.  And, once this ‘solution’ is given, businesses no longer have the same responsibility to figure it out for themselves. 

Of even greater concern, the law helps insulate the businesses from legal action.  As a result, businesses who are not inclined to improve, have even less reason for doing so.  The EEOC found evidence of this.  In fact, some of the most pernicious forms of discrimination and harassment were largely ignored by organizations as they were done at the hands of a “superstar”.  Rather than risk the loss of this rainmaker, businesses found ways to work around the problem, often by transferring victims or taking other steps to mollify them. 

So, what can a business owner or HR do?  Here is my multi-faceted suggestion that you can use to bring change to your workplace.

Clarify the Problem

As each business environment is as unique as the people working in it, begin by identifying the people or circumstances that are at the center of complaints.  Then ask yourself, What would need to be different for the problems to stop?  What could make the problems resurface?  As you ask these questions, you begin to hone in on what needs to be done.

Get Creative

Begin by brainstorming – with a small team of thoughtful individuals.  Initial ideas may look like those tried in the past, write them down but keep going and explore alternative ideas.  Create the goal of generating 10 new ideas.  Doing so forces out-of-the-box thinking and is likely to bring you novel and workable ideas. 

Test the Success

Enact the best solutions and see what happens.  Does change come?  Are there unexpected consequences?  Continue to work between creativity and testing out solutions until you find one that yields desired results without dire consequences.

Share Outcomes

The business world needs more ideas – so share what works.  Blog, speak or Post your ideas below!

Lochte-ing Down On Bad Behavior

Ryan Lochte, it seems, has been given a chance to redeem himself to the American public by “Dancing With The Stars.”  I for one, don’t intend to give him that second chance. 

Ryan Lochte embarrassed not just himself, but his team and his Nation on the International stage known as the Olympics.  Once caught, he didn’t even have the decency to apologize or take true responsibility.  He vandalized, he fabricated, and he lied. Ryan Lochte’s behavior is noteworthy beyond the Olympics – because within this incident, is a lesson to be learned for all businesses. 

The Lochtes of the world exist in every industry.  You know who they are.  The marketing genius, the legal whiz, the one who breaks sales records month after month.  They are the champions of their business – and the ones whose bad behavior gets a pass. 

This isn’t about a single incident or indiscretion.  This is about on-going, escalating, and potentially reckless behaviors.  Behaviors that are largely ignored because the benefits (increased sales, new clients) seem to out-weigh the drawbacks.  And in the short term they may.  But high employee turnover, poor morale, damage to the reputation of your business, all have a far greater impact than a quarterly sales bump.

I don’t know Ryan Lochte, but I am certain this was not his first mis-step.  The crime, deception, and repeated lies to cover it up are not the act of a first time offender.   These are the actions of someone who believes they are untouchable and above the rules.  Someone who has been given a pass or a slap on the wrist, but has never been forced to suffer the significant consequences which teach us to adjust our behavior.

Who is like this at your company?  How can a business “Lochte-down” on such problem behaviors? 

1.    Honor the business by building a culture that values long term successes over short term gains.  Especially where sales numbers or share-holder returns are important, it can be easy to become short-sighted.  Remember, the damage done by a tarnished reputation is far more devastating and lasting than a quarterly win.

2.    Address problem behavior every time.  Especially when there is a pay-off for the business.  Yes, you closed a big deal, won the big case, or thwarted the competition, but if these wins came unethically – they aren’t really a win.  And to ignore the problem behavior suggests that it is condoned, or even acceptable.  Every member of the team will become aware of what the company values, and will either jump on that band-wagon (like Lochte’s teammates), or leave the company. 

3.    Hold them accountable.  Have and maintain high standards of behavior.  If an employee behaves inappropriately – be it toward another member of the staff, with a client or toward a competitor, have an action plan for dealing with it.  This may include a write-up, suspension without pay, even termination.  Keep in mind, without a consequence or down-side, most problem behavior will not change.  Ultimately it is the company that models the behavior others will follow – by demonstrating what is and isn’t acceptable.  

      Side-note:  Handle consequences, and even termination, with a level of respect that makes the person want to improve.  (See my article on Off-Boarding.)

4.    Engage in coaching.  Perhaps you can’t bear to lose a champion of your team no matter how bad the behavior has gotten.  Address the behavior directly by bringing in a coach and being crystal clear with the concerns and objectives.  This builds on #2 (Address problem behavior) because there must be honesty about the reason for the coaching if you want it to bring about change.

5.    Speak of the integrity of your business – and demonstrate the sincerity of that message.  Employees want to hear a positive message - one they can stand behind.  They also want to see actions that back up the words.  They will take notice when positive and appropriate behaviors are rewarded, just as they do when challenging behaviors are condoned.    

  

      Each organization must find its own place of pride, just as each Nation does.  The strength of many, can be overshadowed by the mis-steps of a few.  Take steps to "Lochte-down" problem behavior, before it impacts your bottom line.

Get Your Hands Untied

How often do Human Resources or managers get accused of ignoring problems, taking sides, or playing favorites?  It seems employees feel that unless a person is fired, or publicly flogged, not enough has been done to remedy a problematic situation.  Complicating matters further, Human Resources (and other authority figures in the workplace) are bound by confidentiality and often cannot reveal how they are handling an issue.

Allowing this conundrum to remain brings some employees to believe that sharing information with management does nothing to help, yet leaves them exposed.  They’ll stop telling you about their concerns even if they continue to be impacted by them.  Morale will drop, workplace relations suffer, and unplanned turnover will increase.  In some cases, an employee will feel violated and, if they happen to be of a protected class, may file a grievance or a lawsuit claiming discrimination.

What can you do?  While the law may leave you feeling your hands are tied, here are five things you can, and should, do when hearing a complaint.

1. Hear both sides.  It sounds silly, but all too often the crux of such concerns occur when a person of authority takes action or makes a decision based on just one person’s side of a story. 
2. Take notes.  Not copious notes, just enough to show you’re actually listening and trying to keep track of the situation.  Remember if it matters to them, they need to know it matters to you too.
3. Help them to resolve it themselves.  Many of the complaints HR and managers hear have to do with interpersonal issues.  They aren’t issues which typically require intervention.  In such cases, encouraging the person to handle it themselves is often the right choice.  To offer support, you may want to role play, provide mentoring, or offer to be present when the concerned party approaches the source of their complaint.  
4. Keep them informed.  Tell them what you’re going to do (generally), and why.  Perhaps it’s not appropriate to act on a first time concern, but you are taking notes and plan to keep an eye on the situation.  Or maybe the issue does require intervention.  Simply let them know that you will be taking action, but that due to confidentiality you cannot disclose any other details.  In either situation, be honest about your decision-making. 
5. Tell them to keep you informed.  This may be the most important step as it assures the concerned party that you do want to help and are not ignoring their concerns.  Urge them to come to you if the situation continues or worsens.  Remind them that you cannot be of help if you are not aware of the problem.

 

By responding to complaints in this manner, you will better control morale, turnover, and issues of conflict in the workplace. 

That Internal Argument

Do you find yourself engaging in internal arguments?  The kind that runs through your head as you’re trying to relax or interrupts what might otherwise be mental quiet time?  With January being a time for resolutions – perhaps one healthy resolution to consider is letting go of those unhealthy internal conversations.  

While these battles in our mind may serve a purpose - by helping us to think things through or by providing an outlet for our frustrations - they often do so at a cost.  Such arguments often signal our inability to move past a problem or conflict.  And, as the conflict repeats in your head, lingers, and remains unresolved, it actually damages the relationship you were most likely hoping to preserve.

The alternative - bringing up the conversation with that person whom you are arguing - sounds daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.  Here are 5 steps to making that conversation safe and productive.

1.      Forewarn – Tell the person (you’re in mental conflict with) that you need to talk about a past issue that’s been playing on your mind.  Let them know this a conversation to bring about a better understanding – not to find fault.  At this point, don’t elaborate on any details.  If the timing isn’t appropriate, make a plan for when you will both have time to talk. 

2.      Agree on Basic Rules – Set simple rules by starting on one’s they will like to hear.  For example, no blaming.  Other good rules to follow are: no interrupting, ask questions only when the other is done speaking, and stay on the subject (avoid bringing up other issues). 

3.      Take Responsibility – Explain the issue and why it is important to you that it be discussed.  Remember they may not have thought about it at all.  It may be helpful to explain your feelings (eg: frustrated, misunderstood, angry) as a way to demonstrate the importance of the discussion, but be careful not to use this as a way to place blame.

4.      Share Points of View – At this point it is appropriate to dive into the details of the issue, but remember most of what you will need to discuss is not facts, but your perspective.  Take the time to share the nuances of why the situation upset or hurt you – and why it continues to sit with you.  Have this become a discussion where they also share their thoughts and point of view.

5.      Determine Outcomes – As you listen to each other’s perspective, you will work toward developing a shared understanding of what happened, and what if anything, should be handled differently in the future.  Discuss these until you are both comfortable that you have reached a new understanding.  Close the conversation by thanking the other person for being open to the discussion, for listening, and for helping you to clear your mind of the situation.

Surviving Holiday Conflict

If you find that 'the most wonderful time of the year’ is instead filled with tension, you’re not alone. Conflict often comes from difficulties associated with negotiating time spent among loved ones and over concerns of past conflicts re-igniting or new ones emerging. Add in a little too much "merry-making" and issues of addiction and inappropriate behavior can sneak up on you, too.  While stressful on their own, these events are then co-mingled with what are supposed to be joyous and happy celebrations, often making survival the real goal of the holiday season.

Here are some suggestions for handling these difficult situations – and getting through this year’s holiday season - unscathed.

1. Identify the Problem – Are you concerned about cutting short your time with an ailing relative? Do you worry about the impact of Uncle Bob’s drinking on your teenage kids? Is your sister always dragging you back into childhood conflicts? Whatever is causing you anticipatory stress needs to be revealed for healing to take place.
2. Have a Plan – Think through your situation, and decide what is best for you over the holidays. If you have a spouse or child, consider their interests as well. Then talk about it with someone you trust to give you feedback and support. While your ideal solution may be impractical or overly selfish, it helps to start out by knowing what you want, and identifying what matters most to you. Once you do, making a compromise or stretching your comfort level will have a clear purpose and intent.
3. Expect it – Sure, it seems foolish to worry about something that may not happen, but it’s on your mind anyhow. Avoiding such thoughts leaves you unprepared and caught off guard when the problem comes up. Expecting the problem means having a contingency plan. Perhaps it’s to leave the house if Uncle Bob starts drinking, or to plan to say “I always enjoy seeing you, please let’s not argue” if your sister provokes you. Being prepared will help you to feel happier and more confident leading up to those difficult encounters.
4. Enlist an Ally – Your spouse, or another relative/loved one (who will be with you over the holidays), can prove to be a valuable asset as you navigate difficult waters. Explain to them the problem and your plan for coping with it, and ask for their assistance. Let them know if you’d like them to intervene, come to your defense, or simply provide moral support.
5. Share Your Decisions – Often conflict occurs because a person’s actions or behaviors are surprising and misunderstood. To prevent your self-preservation strategy from causing new issues, keep others informed of the decisions you make. Let your Mother know why you’ll be spending a disproportionate amount of time with your in-laws this year. Tell the host/hostess that you plan to leave if Uncle Bob starts drinking or your sister becomes unrelenting in her conversations with you. By letting others know your boundaries, you help them to honor them.

We hope these ideas help, and that your holiday season  is a whole lot brighter as a result.  Happy Holidays!