Get Your Hands Untied

How often do Human Resources or managers get accused of ignoring problems, taking sides, or playing favorites?  It seems employees feel that unless a person is fired, or publicly flogged, not enough has been done to remedy a problematic situation.  Complicating matters further, Human Resources (and other authority figures in the workplace) are bound by confidentiality and often cannot reveal how they are handling an issue.

Allowing this conundrum to remain brings some employees to believe that sharing information with management does nothing to help, yet leaves them exposed.  They’ll stop telling you about their concerns even if they continue to be impacted by them.  Morale will drop, workplace relations suffer, and unplanned turnover will increase.  In some cases, an employee will feel violated and, if they happen to be of a protected class, may file a grievance or a lawsuit claiming discrimination.

What can you do?  While the law may leave you feeling your hands are tied, here are five things you can, and should, do when hearing a complaint.

1. Hear both sides.  It sounds silly, but all too often the crux of such concerns occur when a person of authority takes action or makes a decision based on just one person’s side of a story. 
2. Take notes.  Not copious notes, just enough to show you’re actually listening and trying to keep track of the situation.  Remember if it matters to them, they need to know it matters to you too.
3. Help them to resolve it themselves.  Many of the complaints HR and managers hear have to do with interpersonal issues.  They aren’t issues which typically require intervention.  In such cases, encouraging the person to handle it themselves is often the right choice.  To offer support, you may want to role play, provide mentoring, or offer to be present when the concerned party approaches the source of their complaint.  
4. Keep them informed.  Tell them what you’re going to do (generally), and why.  Perhaps it’s not appropriate to act on a first time concern, but you are taking notes and plan to keep an eye on the situation.  Or maybe the issue does require intervention.  Simply let them know that you will be taking action, but that due to confidentiality you cannot disclose any other details.  In either situation, be honest about your decision-making. 
5. Tell them to keep you informed.  This may be the most important step as it assures the concerned party that you do want to help and are not ignoring their concerns.  Urge them to come to you if the situation continues or worsens.  Remind them that you cannot be of help if you are not aware of the problem.

 

By responding to complaints in this manner, you will better control morale, turnover, and issues of conflict in the workplace. 

That Internal Argument

Do you find yourself engaging in internal arguments?  The kind that runs through your head as you’re trying to relax or interrupts what might otherwise be mental quiet time?  With January being a time for resolutions – perhaps one healthy resolution to consider is letting go of those unhealthy internal conversations.  

While these battles in our mind may serve a purpose - by helping us to think things through or by providing an outlet for our frustrations - they often do so at a cost.  Such arguments often signal our inability to move past a problem or conflict.  And, as the conflict repeats in your head, lingers, and remains unresolved, it actually damages the relationship you were most likely hoping to preserve.

The alternative - bringing up the conversation with that person whom you are arguing - sounds daunting, but it doesn’t have to be.  Here are 5 steps to making that conversation safe and productive.

1.      Forewarn – Tell the person (you’re in mental conflict with) that you need to talk about a past issue that’s been playing on your mind.  Let them know this a conversation to bring about a better understanding – not to find fault.  At this point, don’t elaborate on any details.  If the timing isn’t appropriate, make a plan for when you will both have time to talk. 

2.      Agree on Basic Rules – Set simple rules by starting on one’s they will like to hear.  For example, no blaming.  Other good rules to follow are: no interrupting, ask questions only when the other is done speaking, and stay on the subject (avoid bringing up other issues). 

3.      Take Responsibility – Explain the issue and why it is important to you that it be discussed.  Remember they may not have thought about it at all.  It may be helpful to explain your feelings (eg: frustrated, misunderstood, angry) as a way to demonstrate the importance of the discussion, but be careful not to use this as a way to place blame.

4.      Share Points of View – At this point it is appropriate to dive into the details of the issue, but remember most of what you will need to discuss is not facts, but your perspective.  Take the time to share the nuances of why the situation upset or hurt you – and why it continues to sit with you.  Have this become a discussion where they also share their thoughts and point of view.

5.      Determine Outcomes – As you listen to each other’s perspective, you will work toward developing a shared understanding of what happened, and what if anything, should be handled differently in the future.  Discuss these until you are both comfortable that you have reached a new understanding.  Close the conversation by thanking the other person for being open to the discussion, for listening, and for helping you to clear your mind of the situation.

Office Politics

Office politics may be something we all talk about – but in an election year, the expression takes on a whole new meaning.  As a behavior brought about by those who seek power and influence, consider the potential for staff in your organization to desire the power and influence to see their party or candidate take office come Election Day.  

Hot-button issues like the economy, unemployment, and healthcare are hitting-home and leading people to become more opinionated and more entrenched in their beliefs.  Friendly conversation about current events can quickly turn into heated debate.  Repeat interactions may lead some to feel pushed, challenged, or bullied.  It is these office politics that threaten to derail your business as they undermine morale, hinder teamwork, damage productivity, and may also lead to more troubling (and potentially litigious) behaviors – all of which are sure to linger beyond Election Day.

The best strategy for keeping these office politics at bay is to get in front of them and plan ahead.  

Steps to Take

1 – Review your company policy on social or political behavior.  This may also overlap with policies on diversity.  Are there policies addressing the use the display or demonstration of affiliations, etc.?

2 – Determine what will be acceptable company behavior.  Some thoughts to consider:

• If friendly debate/conversation is allowed, is it limited to lunch and break rooms?
• Can a person post their affiliation in their office/cubicle?
• Is staff allowed to congregate or campaign on company grounds?
• How does title/role play a part in determining what a person can/cannot say?

3 – Consult with your company attorney.  While 1^st Amendment Rights were created to establish political freedom, the workplace is not public property and therefore is not the appropriate forum for enacting those rights.  

4 – Talk with your staff.  Be sure all staff know the position of the company regarding these behaviors, and how they may address any concerns which still arise.  Be clear about rules and consequences.

5 – Be Consistent.  Nothing is more troubling or will lead to more discord than allowing some individuals to express their beliefs freely while others are held accountable.  This is especially true if the rules seem to favor a certain individual, a particular rank within the company, or a given political party.

Why a blog?

All too often I hear the same story... It starts with the comment "I wish I knew you earlier". The story continues with an unfortunate tale of woe arising from an employment or business situation in which a dispute, conflict, or even simple misunderstanding escalated into a lost job, a dissolved partnership, and/or a costly legal battle. Inevitably their story is filled with regret or resentment that things were not handled differently. As a mediator specializing in employee relations, partnership issues, and business disputes, I can only agree... "I wish you knew me earlier too."

The truth of the matter is, sometimes timing isn't the problem....fear is. Mediation is something foreign to most people who wrongly confuse it with either litigation or arbitration. Some have even worked with a mediator who did not perform as a true neutral, or who pushed for an agreement when the parties weren't ready or in full agreement. Still others fear that they will be forced into a compromise they don't wish to make. So they sue, they quit, they suffer.

As a mediator this saddens and frustrates me. I know the value of helping people to hear each other, and to understand each other. I know that the fear they may be feeling will be quelled within minutes of the process beginning. And I know that the process makes it easier to communicate and resolve differences....making it possible to truly arrive at a win-win ending.

My hope is that this blog helps to chip away at the resistance, and that more people talk about mediation as an exceptional service and vehicle for conflict resolution.