OFF-BOARDING

Because You Only Get One Chance to Fire An Employee, You Better Do It Right.

“I’ve had it.  I’m going to fire her.” said Ernie as I answered the phone.  He was fed up with Barbara, his COO, who had been with him from the early days of his business’ inception.

I knew Barbara and Ernie well.  I’d worked with them separately and together as they worked to build Ernie’s business.  Ernie, your quintessential leader, was free-spirited and visionary.  He had a passion and exuberance that inspired his employees, and transitioned prospects into customers.  Barbara brought balance to the equation.  Practical and level-headed Barbara had been instrumental in creating templates and processes.  She understood Ernie’s vision, but stayed focused in the reality of what needed to happen to bring those ideas into fruition.   

Ernie had valued Barbara’s grounded nature and global perspective in the early days.  Her dedication to process and function, freed him to pursue the company’s vision.  But now, as the business had stabilized and grown, he felt inhibited by her involvement.  Ernie recounted to me several instances in which Barbara’s actions had restricted growth or interfered with his authority.  “I need to take back control of my company.” Ernie said, “And she has to go.” 

  

Ernie said he called me for guidance on how to go about this.  He wasn’t concerned about litigation, he told me.  He planned to compensate Barbara well for what she’d helped him to accomplish.  But, he didn’t want to create a permanent chasm to their relationship.  He’d been through that before with another termination and it still haunted him. 

I asked Ernie to share what he had planned to say.  He broke into a mini-speech, role playing his intended conversation with Barbara.  He included details of why Barbara was no longer a good fit, how she would be compensated, and reminders of how they had not seen eye to eye on several issues.  After he was done, Ernie shared with me that he wants it to go smoothly as he may need her on a consultancy level in the future. 

“I’m glad you called.” I tell Ernie, “I don’t think that conversation would have gone smoothly.”

A critical point in terminating an employee is to remember that this final interaction will be a memorable and lasting one.  It will overshadow most other interactions, and will largely determine the employee's attitude about you, and your organization, going forward.  "Off-boarding" therefore, must be respectful, thoughtful, and honest.  

Here are some key points:

1.    Be Gentle – But Get To The Point  Terminations are typically uncomfortable for everyone involved, don’t make it worse by engaging in small talk.  This wrongly suggests that everything is fine just before the axe is dropped.  Instead, give a brief warning statement that you “have difficult news to share”.  Then succinctly state that they are being let go.

2.    Allow Them To Ask “Why?”  Give space for the employee to ask this and other questions (now, and in the stages that follow).  Allow them the opportunity to feel heard.  The process of terminating an employee is just that, a process.  One worthy of a two-sided conversation. 

3.    Explain Without Blame  Share with the terminating employee the reasons things no longer work.  Keep your focus on the actions/behaviors you had hoped to see, but which were not (sufficiently) occurring.  Describing the absence of desired behaviors allows you to explain without blame.  This helps mitigate defensiveness and denial, while also acting as a teaching moment for the departing employee.

4.    Remind Them Of Their Value  Yes!  After describing where they fell short, tell them where they had excelled or where you believe they will excel in their next job.  For some employees this may be a harder stretch, but it helps support their ego, and facilitates their ability to focus their energy toward their next job.

5.    Note Your Appreciation  Most employees have contributed to your organization – acknowledge this and thank them for it.

6.    Go Over Logistics  The above five steps are all intended to be somewhat open and conversational.  Now you can (safely) transition into the logistics of the separation of employment.  It is in this stage that you may begin to engage them in comments relative to the “exit interview”. 

7.    Say Your Goodbyes  End the conversation by thanking them.  It may be for their years of service, for their open sharing during this process of separation, or for other reasons.  If you have a personal friendship with the person you are terminating, this is where you might reconnect with them on that level, speaking to how your (personal) connection will continue.

Other little, but very important considerations are to use a kind voice and to keep your demeanor professional but friendly.  You only get once chance to fire an employee, do it right.

Reclaiming Control of Your Temper

Have you ever thought about your anger?  About what pushes your buttons, sets you off, or really frustrates you?  I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately.  And I’m not talking about the people, and behaviors, that are likely triggers.  They will always

be there.   Instead, I’m thinking more broadly and introspectively.  I’m looking at the choices I make which set the wheels in motion for me to be more easily agitated.  Here’s what I’ve noticed:

For me, stress is a precursor to anger. 

I am calmer on days when I’m engaged in one or two long tasks rather than a dozen short ones.  I’m more easily frustrated when I’m concerned about time.  And, unfortunately, I am especially compromised when those two situations overlap, which they often do.  The more things I attempt to accomplish in a day, the more rushed and time conscious I have to be.  All of these situations cause me to feel stressed, and ultimately leave me less tolerant of the behaviors of others.

Knowing these internal triggers is helpful, but knowing what I can do about them is even better.  Here are a few things I’m trying to do to manage my stress and reclaim control of my temper – and therefore my life.

1.      Consciously plan my day and week.  I’ve realized that being booked end to end with meetings and engagements – enjoyable or not – takes a toll on me.  Especially with having two young children who require a well of my energy at the end of the day.  As a result, I’ve been pairing down my activities and commitments and am trying to be conscious of my energy levels.

2.      Limiting use of my smart phone.  Do I need to check email every 20 minutes?  No.  Especially since if it’s actually an important/business email I most likely don’t have the time or resources necessary to respond if I’m out of the office.  Using it during off hours also presents a challenge.  I need to allow myself DOWN time.

3.      Taking a walk.  Being outside, in the fresh air always rejuvenates me and builds me up.  My mood is better and of course it’s good for my body too.

4.      Saying “No”.  No to joining committees, volunteering, or participating in activities that are not deeply important to me.  As a people pleaser this is difficult – but I keep perspective by remembering that I must consciously plan my time, and that my goal of being calm and peaceful is vitally important.

While managing stress levels may not be your solution to managing your temper, I hope it encourages you to look inward and determine what situations are precursors for your own.  Learning these things about yourself is an important step to mitigating conflicts, managing mood, and maintaining healthy relationships.