D.I.Y. – A Plan for Culture Change

What’s your company’s culture?  I’m not asking what you want it to be, or what you tell your customers or clients.  I mean what are the day to day behaviors that are encouraged, rewarded and repeated by members of your team?  Is success based in camaraderie or cut-throat attitudes?  Do your foster teamwork or territorial behaviors?  An organization’s culture is not about what you say, but what you do.

As we start the New Year, this may be the perfect time to begin looking at making change, building upon what works, eliminating what doesn’t, and creating the culture your organization needs to succeed.  This isn’t about making a statement or creating a Phantom Culture.  This is about making deep, meaningful change.  Identifying and developing the culture that you want requires vision, planning, and commitment.

Vision – Know what you want the culture to be.  You may not be able to define the specifics, but you know that behaviors, attitudes, or teamwork will be different.  Have a vision, for how work will flow, people will function, and how business will be conducted.  As you determine your ideal, you can begin identifying what does, and does not, currently support that ideal.  Find your dream-team – those who are dedicated to creating that ideal.  They are needed to move any vision forward.

Planning – The vision is your end-game.  Planning is where you begin the work to get there.  Assemble your dream team and support them with time, space, and any other necessary tools to begin working toward that goal.  This team will need to work collaboratively to identify the specific qualities, in terms of behavior and performance, which will support the vision.  They will more fully imagine the vision, while refining the needs that the vision identified, and breaking them down into action steps.

Commitment – Having the vision, and carry-through of developing a plan will not change your culture unless you are committed to implementing it in every way possible.  Creating a culture and standing behind it means addressing those behavioral and performance standards during routine feedback, annual performance reviews, and everything in between.  It means holding every employee, at every level of the organization, accountable to that same standard, and it means making hard decisions when someone doesn’t “fit” your culture. 

Creating a new company culture is not simple or easy, but it yields impressive results.  When you identify and support your top performers, loyalty and productivity rise.  When you eliminate those on your staff who don’t demonstrate competency or accountability, you remove errors and stagnation.  A new culture allows you to promote the skills your organization needs to be its best, while removing the human hurdles that limit success.  The result - You create a dynamic team that can accomplish great things.  And who doesn’t want, and need, that? 

Are You Asking the Right Question?

The other night I received a call from a research group asking me questions about the likelihood of my voting in the up-coming and future elections.   As I answered the questions I eagerly awaited the opportunity to explain myself – but it never came.  Doesn’t the DNC want to know “why” I won’t be voting in an election?  What value does my answer have without the knowledge of what could change it?

As I thought about it, I realized that “Why?” is missing from many of our conversations.  “Why” is an essential part of our knowledge base in learning how to get along with one another.  It teaches us how to meet each other’s needs.  It provides us with an explanation and a deeper ability to understand each other.  Without it, we are guessing our way through our lives and our relationships. 

Imagine you asked your boss for his opinion on your work.  If he says it’s unsatisfactory, don’t you need to know “Why?” so that you can fix it?  What if your spouse doesn’t want to talk about her day.  Do you ask her “Why not?”  If not how do you know if she’s upset with you or something else that occurred in her day?  Some people view these basic questions as intrusive or even inappropriate.  But Asking “why” is essential to our development. 

In asking people about their reluctance to ask “Why?” I get a handful of similar responses:

“I don’t want to offend them.”

“If they wanted me to know, they would have told me.”

“I don’t really want to know why.  (The answer may hurt me)”

“I don’t want an argument.”

The problem for many, may be in the delivery.

“Why?” – Can be asked in more than one way.  It can be asked as a challenge to the other person or it can be asked with genuine curiosity.  Those reluctant to ask the question tend to think of it as the former – as taking a position of debate or demonstrating discord.  For them, avoiding the question seems to be the most appropriate response.  It avoids an argument or conflict.  However, when “Why?” is asked with curiosity, it invites a discussion in a positive way.  It shows your respect for the answer you were given and your interest to understand the reasons behind it.  This basic question allows you to learn the other person’s needs, thereby making it possible for you to meet them.

Consider asking “Why?” in this thoughtful and curious way.  See what you learn, and see how your relationships develop.

Deciding Who's First

Whether you are married, have children, or single and on your own, when it comes to personal matters, it’s often hard to find the right balance of taking care of your family, yourself, and ‘being there’ for other friends and loved ones. 

Your mental debate may even lead to conflict if others who learn of your choices, don’t approve.  Below are some thoughts/guidelines for managing these issues while improving your relationships with others.

1.      Be True to Yourself – Prior to making a decision, and certainly before communicating that decision to others (who may not approve), think about why that decision makes sense for you.  For example, say you are choosing to get a massage instead of helping your cousin.  What are the reasons for that decision?  Is it because you two have a difficult relationship?  Because he’s never helped you when you needed it?  Because your back is injured and the masseuse can only fit you in when your cousin needs you?  Think about the reasons for making what could be termed a “selfish” choice.  Often times “selfish” choices occur as a result of a damaged relationship, and the desire to avoid or punish the other person.

2.      Be Honest – Keeping your rationale to yourself isn’t helping.  And, it will likely build added resentment from others if it is misunderstood.  In making a choice that others can’t readily appreciate, be prepared to communicate your reasoning with those impacted by it.  (For guidelines on having those conversations see my earlier article).

3.      Know Your Priorities – Sometimes, it isn’t a selfish choice that becomes a challenge.  It’s the reverse.  Perhaps a friend wants to see you (and you them) but it means your child will have to endure a play-date with a child she doesn’t like, or be left with a babysitter you don’t feel great about.  Here your concerns are letting someone down one way or the other.  While your child may forgive you more easily, or be simpler to bribe with a toy or dessert, think about which choice makes you feel better as a person.  Worry less about how your rationale sounds to others, and more about your own conscience and what helps you to sleep well at night.  Let that feeling guide you. 

4.      Don’t Make Excuses – When communicating your choices, don’t turn them into excuses.  Explain yourself directly and with factual points, including any notes about how you might be able to compromise, or make it up to the other person, if that is what you want to do. 

5.      Hold Your Head High – This is just a reminder that if you are true to yourself, honest with others, communicate clearly, and make added efforts when reasonable, you should be able to feel good about yourself, your decisions, and your relationships with others.

Preschool Wisdom meets the Modern Workplace

Developing teams who work well together and support one another is an on-going challenge – and a frequent topic of my articles. However I recently recognized a way to address that challenge that’s so simple it brings to mind the popular book of nearly 25 years ago, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum.

The revelation is based on an activity at my daughter's school which keeps kids connected and engaged, (qualities all employers want of their staff) while bolstering their self-esteem and giving them opportunities to be a leader (qualities that are difficult to both develop and assess). The activity is Share Day, and here’s how it works: Each child has an assigned time when he or she gets to share something with his classmates – by way of show and tell, and they get to ask questions about it. Through this activity the children get to know each other better, learn of their shared interests, and develop a level of interpersonal appreciation and respect for one another.

Apply that lesson to a business setting and the outcomes could be far greater. Share Day would facilitate staff in getting to know one another beyond the scope of their work. It would create an atmosphere of understanding and compassion, which translates into better workplace relations and stronger teamwork. It can help shy and quiet staff to connect with their coworkers, and it creates a platform for developing – and recognizing - natural leaders that others will follow.

There’s more good news. Share Day creates a specified time and place for engaging in personal conversation. This means staff would know when they get to share, and likewise, when not to share. Share Day presents staff with an appropriate place to talk about their recent accomplishment, to brag about their kids, or to share good or bad news that is affecting them. Rather than sending non-work related emails, this would be the forum in which staff could talk about their recent vacation, ask for sponsors for the marathon they'll be running, or to buy cookies for their child's scouting troop.

Here are a few guidelines for implementing Share Day at your company or organization:

1. Incorporate "sharing" into team meetings, either as the warm up, or as a way of closing the meeting.
2. Limit Share Day groups to a maximum of 12 people. If you have more than that, the team should be divided into logical groups based upon who staff work most closely with.
3. Limit each person’s sharing to 5-7 minutes. Lunch and breaks are the time for added sharing if desired.
4. Share Day does not need to be a part of every meeting, but should occur about once a month.
5. Each person should be allowed (and scheduled) to “share” about once a quarter.
6. Strongly encourage all staff to participate when it is their turn. Allowing staff to opt out will likely cause other staff to feel vulnerable or judged by their peers and ultimately undermine your goal of improving teamwork and employee relations.
7. Have a kick-off meeting in which staff help in creating rules for Share Day.

Remember that the immediate goal is to help staff bond. Bonding yields trust, better workplace relations, higher productivity, greater loyalty, lower turnover, etc. If you follow the guidelines above, you are spending less than 20 minutes a month on staff relations, and likely yielding a huge return on that small investment.

Facing the Truth

Facebook, as many of us know, is both a blessing and a curse.  It lets us keep up with friends and loved ones; reconnect with old friends, past flames, and contacts in distant locations; and practically relive our High School and College years.  However, there are large challenges built into that freedom to connect.

One of the most prominent challenges we face is connected with handling the information we can now retrieve.  We voyeuristically examine the actions and updates of those we care about – we see who they spend time with, and what they’ve been doing.  Those dating and in relationships may examine Facebook updates and posts to assess the honestly or loyalty of their companions.  Parents who enjoy this often permitted ability to check-in with their kids are now learning about their child’s friends, romances, and activities online.  In both situations information is achieved through a level of spying not through honest sharing.  And as a result, we’re lost in knowing what to do with, or how to handle the information we receive.

A second, but equally important challenge is connected with determining who you “friend” on these social sites.  Do you want business/professional associates as Facebook friends?  Have you over-connected to those from your past and now you’d like to scale-back those relations?  Do you want to limit the access of your companions or relatives because of the issues noted in the previous paragraph? 

 

And a third, common and unfortunate challenge is that many use this site for a type of escapism.  Some of us find ourselves spending hours posting and perusing updates, playing games, and wasting time that might better be spent enhancing relationships with friends and loved ones who are physically available and in need of our attention.

Fundamental to all of these issues is the need to set boundaries. 

Know what you want – and why you want it.  Do you need and enjoy a few minutes of escapism?  Recognize that for what it is.  You aren’t working, so this is “play” time or “me” time.  Much like watching TV, Facebook fills our desire to escape.  If you’re spending a lot of time in this arena, chances are you’re avoiding dealing with something, or someone.  Be aware of the choice you are making.  

It’s also important to know what you want when it comes to determining who can be your friend.  Perhaps your boundary is to only accept close friends and non-business associates on Facebook.  LinkedIn might be the site you use for business social-networking.  New platforms on Facebook, and sites like Google + that allow you to segregate contacts into “circles” might also be helpful in organizing your connections.   

Finally, the same holds true for those who are virtual spies.  Know what you want to do with that information.  Are you making sure your kids are safe?  Then that is what you can use Facebook for – ensuring their safety.  Not for determining who they choose as a friend unless there is a clear line connecting those two issues. 

Are you verifying your ex-boyfriend hasn’t jilted you for a past love?  Then verification is what you are allowed – not access to confronting him with what you know.  Either you learn that he was trustworthy – or that he wasn’t.  Either way your relationship didn’t work out and Facebook isn’t the way to change that.

Learn their boundaries – and respect them.  How does your family (or your boss!) feel about the time you spend on social networking sites?  

When it comes to who you connect with – keep in mind your children may have “friended” you because they felt pressured to do so, or were worried they’d hurt you by refusing.  Your new love may have wanted to demonstrate their growing interest in you, but may not be ready to announce you’re involvement with one another via a publicly pronounced change in “relationship status”.

Ask questions to determine what their boundaries are with letting you see deeper into their world.

Set your own boundaries ­­- and be clear about them.  That may mean limiting who you friend or on what site (Facebook, LinkedIn, etc.)  you “friend” them.   It may mean sharing your comfort level with your social-networking friends regarding what sort of information or photos you’re comfortable with them posting about you.  It may also mean setting boundaries for yourself regarding how much “play” time you spend on social networking. 

All of these skills in setting boundaries require a degree of self-exploration along with the ability to have honest communication with those in your life.  For more suggestions and advice on that, please feel free to peruse our other articles on that subject.  To enhance your skills through communication training, please contact me at Candice@MediatingSolutions.com