The Naked King

Brian was a proud leader.  He’d driven his organization forward with growth and innovation and developed a team of high performing individuals.  Yet as Brian exuberantly pushed toward greater investor returns and new opportunities, he simultaneously generated friction among his team.  Unbeknownst to Brian, the team felt restrained, held back, and at times disengaged.  Why didn’t Brian know?  Brian, was a naked King.

As in Hans Christian Andersen’s tale the Emperor’s New Clothes, Brian like many of today’s leaders, shares a common circumstance as the King and his minions in the well-known fable.  Employees, even at the executive level, are like the townspeople, withholding information and feedback.  Why does this happen?  

Leaders, like the rest of us, seek out positive and encouraging feedback, and resist negative or contradictory information.  Similarly, a leader’s style in managing difficult situations is likely to mirror the rest of society and venture toward conflict avoidance (seen as negating or ignoring an issue), or confrontation (seen as bullying or intimidating behaviors).  Further complicating the situation, the power and influence of a leader combined with these common character traits, become more pronounced and more challenging for others to overcome.  

But does our leader know s/he is naked?  Some, no doubt are aware.  These leaders hope to keep others in the dark.  They tend to be secretive and closed off, and their organizations are likely to have heavy turnover.  But most leaders, like Brian, are at best mildly aware.  They are friendly and open, get along well with others, and make an effort toward being available.  They take their ability to be engaging, friendly, and socialize with their staff as evidence that their leadership is strong and healthy.  The problem however, is that they do not invite feedback and criticism.  If it’s hard to give feedback to a friend, what happens when s/he is also your boss?  Forget about it.

So what can the naked King do?

Given that the risks are too high for clear feedback to come through internal efforts, Leaders who want to know what their team is thinking will need to consider getting outside help.  Through quasi-360° evaluations conducted by a consultant or coach, a leader can learn of the concerns which exist in the organization, and of his/her leadership style, while minimizing fear and resistance among the staff or executives who are providing the feedback.  But that’s only step 1.  Step 2 is to utilize that feedback and prove to your team that it was worth their effort, and risk, to provide it.  This will most likely entail executive coaching, as well as a degree of transparency regarding your knowledge or acceptance of the feedback and your efforts to remedy the situation.  Steps 3 through infinity will be to keep that conversation going.  Encouraging others to give feedback in real time – not after the King has walked naked through the town.

Are You Asking the Right Question?

The other night I received a call from a research group asking me questions about the likelihood of my voting in the up-coming and future elections.   As I answered the questions I eagerly awaited the opportunity to explain myself – but it never came.  Doesn’t the DNC want to know “why” I won’t be voting in an election?  What value does my answer have without the knowledge of what could change it?

As I thought about it, I realized that “Why?” is missing from many of our conversations.  “Why” is an essential part of our knowledge base in learning how to get along with one another.  It teaches us how to meet each other’s needs.  It provides us with an explanation and a deeper ability to understand each other.  Without it, we are guessing our way through our lives and our relationships. 

Imagine you asked your boss for his opinion on your work.  If he says it’s unsatisfactory, don’t you need to know “Why?” so that you can fix it?  What if your spouse doesn’t want to talk about her day.  Do you ask her “Why not?”  If not how do you know if she’s upset with you or something else that occurred in her day?  Some people view these basic questions as intrusive or even inappropriate.  But Asking “why” is essential to our development. 

In asking people about their reluctance to ask “Why?” I get a handful of similar responses:

“I don’t want to offend them.”

“If they wanted me to know, they would have told me.”

“I don’t really want to know why.  (The answer may hurt me)”

“I don’t want an argument.”

The problem for many, may be in the delivery.

“Why?” – Can be asked in more than one way.  It can be asked as a challenge to the other person or it can be asked with genuine curiosity.  Those reluctant to ask the question tend to think of it as the former – as taking a position of debate or demonstrating discord.  For them, avoiding the question seems to be the most appropriate response.  It avoids an argument or conflict.  However, when “Why?” is asked with curiosity, it invites a discussion in a positive way.  It shows your respect for the answer you were given and your interest to understand the reasons behind it.  This basic question allows you to learn the other person’s needs, thereby making it possible for you to meet them.

Consider asking “Why?” in this thoughtful and curious way.  See what you learn, and see how your relationships develop.

State of the...Company

Every January our Commander in Chief presents a State of the Union or Inaugural Address.  Setting your own political ideologies aside, business leaders should take note of the address and the purpose behind it.  This address is a leadership strategy – one that can be implemented within any company, team, or organization.   The Inaugural Address or State of the Union inspires, explains, motivates, and builds enthusiasm for what is both desired and possible. 

Translate that to a business model, and you are offering your staff a glimpse into your views on the recent past and your goals for the coming year.  You are building a sense of unity, a feeling of pride, and a desire to give the best of oneself in those who hear your own address.  Do you acknowledge the hard times?  Yes.  Will you sometimes have to acknowledge that there may be more hard times to come?  Yes.  But you also have this forum to explain what you can/will do to lessen the impact of these hard times and to plant seeds of hope for the positive changes that are on the way.

The “State of the Company” address may be the one time each year you address your staff or team in this manner, so make it count.  Be sure to include:

1.     Gratitude for their commitment to your company, team, or organization.
2.     Recognition for their hard work and effort to reach goals.
3.     Awareness of any difficulties of the past year (or more if this is your first such address).
4.     Appreciation for the success and accomplishments of the past year (or longer).
5.     Goals and/or changes to come in the year ahead.
6.     An acknowledgement of what it will take to reach those goals (of them and you).
7.     A request for their commitment to making those goals or changes happen.
8.     Repeat of Gratitude – this time with a focus on moving forward.

Strong leadership requires communication, inspiration, a vision for the future, and a building of trust – both up the corporate ladder and down.  As you craft and deliver your “State of the Company” keep these ideals in mind.

If we can be of help in addressing these and other leadership challenges, through executive coaching, training, or other services, please contact us.

The Power of Positive Perspective

How do you stay so positive?  Especially when life presents inevitable challenges and “bad” things happen?  Be it workplace issues or personal struggles, we all have the power to choose how we view each situation we encounter.  The problem?  Most of us don’t realize we have that power.  

This is not to say that some of life’s experiences are not more pleasant or more dreadful than others.  Instead, it is to say that the same situation can be viewed in many different ways; and how we choose to view it has a profound and compelling impact on how we feel about that situation and how it affects us.   Some examples:

Say you find yourself stuck in traffic after a meeting runs long.  Instead of bemoaning that you’re now even further off schedule, be thankful that the delay put you 20 minutes behind that potential car wreck, instead of in it.  Perhaps that meeting saved your life.  Instead of frustration, this change in perspective can leave you feeling relieved, grateful or simply at peace with your circumstances.

Or ask yourself how you might feel about having your flight to work with a new client cancelled.  Are you worrying your client may choose to find a local resource?  Or choosing to see this situation as an opportunity to encourage the client to Skype with you?  The latter could make scheduling future work together easier and would be cost-effective for the client – possibly enhancing the opportunity for a longer and deeper collaboration.   

These two examples shed light on two specific ways to manage perspective, by making a shift in thinking.

Focus on the positive aspects/alternatives as in the situation with the cancelled flight, and choosing to see new options and the long-term benefits they present.

Consider the avoidance of a negative incident or experience (as with the traffic).

This adjustment in perspective is a choice you make.  It means stopping your knee-jerk reaction and processing alternative ideas.  And, you’ll find, the more often you make this shift, the easier and more natural it becomes.  

Preschool Wisdom meets the Modern Workplace

Developing teams who work well together and support one another is an on-going challenge – and a frequent topic of my articles. However I recently recognized a way to address that challenge that’s so simple it brings to mind the popular book of nearly 25 years ago, “All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten” by Robert Fulghum.

The revelation is based on an activity at my daughter's school which keeps kids connected and engaged, (qualities all employers want of their staff) while bolstering their self-esteem and giving them opportunities to be a leader (qualities that are difficult to both develop and assess). The activity is Share Day, and here’s how it works: Each child has an assigned time when he or she gets to share something with his classmates – by way of show and tell, and they get to ask questions about it. Through this activity the children get to know each other better, learn of their shared interests, and develop a level of interpersonal appreciation and respect for one another.

Apply that lesson to a business setting and the outcomes could be far greater. Share Day would facilitate staff in getting to know one another beyond the scope of their work. It would create an atmosphere of understanding and compassion, which translates into better workplace relations and stronger teamwork. It can help shy and quiet staff to connect with their coworkers, and it creates a platform for developing – and recognizing - natural leaders that others will follow.

There’s more good news. Share Day creates a specified time and place for engaging in personal conversation. This means staff would know when they get to share, and likewise, when not to share. Share Day presents staff with an appropriate place to talk about their recent accomplishment, to brag about their kids, or to share good or bad news that is affecting them. Rather than sending non-work related emails, this would be the forum in which staff could talk about their recent vacation, ask for sponsors for the marathon they'll be running, or to buy cookies for their child's scouting troop.

Here are a few guidelines for implementing Share Day at your company or organization:

1. Incorporate "sharing" into team meetings, either as the warm up, or as a way of closing the meeting.
2. Limit Share Day groups to a maximum of 12 people. If you have more than that, the team should be divided into logical groups based upon who staff work most closely with.
3. Limit each person’s sharing to 5-7 minutes. Lunch and breaks are the time for added sharing if desired.
4. Share Day does not need to be a part of every meeting, but should occur about once a month.
5. Each person should be allowed (and scheduled) to “share” about once a quarter.
6. Strongly encourage all staff to participate when it is their turn. Allowing staff to opt out will likely cause other staff to feel vulnerable or judged by their peers and ultimately undermine your goal of improving teamwork and employee relations.
7. Have a kick-off meeting in which staff help in creating rules for Share Day.

Remember that the immediate goal is to help staff bond. Bonding yields trust, better workplace relations, higher productivity, greater loyalty, lower turnover, etc. If you follow the guidelines above, you are spending less than 20 minutes a month on staff relations, and likely yielding a huge return on that small investment.