Employer Lessons from the Donald Sterling Incident

Do you have a Donald Sterling at the helm of your agency?  Perhaps he or she is on the Board of Directors, in a position of leadership, or serving as a manager or supervisor.  Maybe he or she is even your newest hire.  The thing is, you usually don’t know until their hateful thoughts or behaviors are somehow exposed.  While it is easy to rally around a common enemy like Donald Sterling, what this story really brings to light is the fact that there are those with racially offensive and prejudicial views all around us.   It is how we handle them, and the situation that exposes their hateful thoughts or actions that makes the difference.

To begin with, don’t imagine that by ridding yourself of the “bad seed” that you no longer have a problem.  That may be the first step, but there is healing and an aftermath to contend with.  An incident, like that involving Sterling, may bond a team together, but it also leaves raw nerves and a level of distrust in its wake.  Who else has these views or opinions?  What is going to happen next?   

   

1. Get in front of the issue – Hold a meeting with staff.  Whether the full organization is aware or just a small group of staff, quick action is key to managing the issue and containing its damage.  Meet with those who are aware and affected immediately after the issue has been exposed and discipline or termination has been administered. 
2. Acknowledge and Inform – Staff already know about the problem, but they need to hear it from you, to know you understand it as well.  Do so, and tell them what has been done to rectify the situation.  If this behavior led to termination, say so.  Owning that decision is important.  If discipline or training were decided upon instead, inform your staff more generally that actions have been taken and that you are closely monitoring the situation.  Recognize that the more egregious or offensive the behavior, the less staff are going to tolerate complacency in managing it.
3. Discuss policy – Be specific and detailed as you describe company policy in managing the issue.  Keep your focus on what is expected - both with regard to staff behavior and with their responsibility for informing about the behavior of others.     
4. Call to Action – Healing.  What is most needed after a traumatic incident or other organizational shake-up is healing.  Identify it – and describe what is going to happen next.  Will the company provide training on issues such as sensitivity?  Is any corporate restructuring necessary?  How are staff expected to behave (i.e. is gossip about the issue forbidden)?
5. Build on the strengths of the team.  End the meeting by beginning the healing process.  Describe the positives that have come out of this difficult circumstance (i.e. staff are more bonded together; this brought a heightened awareness of issues we need to resolve).  List the good qualities that remain true of the team/group affected.  Have and share an optimistic outlook for what the future will hold.

Overcoming a crisis can be a defining moment for any team – NBA or not.  Define your company by building on the positives as you address the challenges.

Reclaiming Control of Your Temper

Have you ever thought about your anger?  About what pushes your buttons, sets you off, or really frustrates you?  I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately.  And I’m not talking about the people, and behaviors, that are likely triggers.  They will always

be there.   Instead, I’m thinking more broadly and introspectively.  I’m looking at the choices I make which set the wheels in motion for me to be more easily agitated.  Here’s what I’ve noticed:

For me, stress is a precursor to anger. 

I am calmer on days when I’m engaged in one or two long tasks rather than a dozen short ones.  I’m more easily frustrated when I’m concerned about time.  And, unfortunately, I am especially compromised when those two situations overlap, which they often do.  The more things I attempt to accomplish in a day, the more rushed and time conscious I have to be.  All of these situations cause me to feel stressed, and ultimately leave me less tolerant of the behaviors of others.

Knowing these internal triggers is helpful, but knowing what I can do about them is even better.  Here are a few things I’m trying to do to manage my stress and reclaim control of my temper – and therefore my life.

1.      Consciously plan my day and week.  I’ve realized that being booked end to end with meetings and engagements – enjoyable or not – takes a toll on me.  Especially with having two young children who require a well of my energy at the end of the day.  As a result, I’ve been pairing down my activities and commitments and am trying to be conscious of my energy levels.

2.      Limiting use of my smart phone.  Do I need to check email every 20 minutes?  No.  Especially since if it’s actually an important/business email I most likely don’t have the time or resources necessary to respond if I’m out of the office.  Using it during off hours also presents a challenge.  I need to allow myself DOWN time.

3.      Taking a walk.  Being outside, in the fresh air always rejuvenates me and builds me up.  My mood is better and of course it’s good for my body too.

4.      Saying “No”.  No to joining committees, volunteering, or participating in activities that are not deeply important to me.  As a people pleaser this is difficult – but I keep perspective by remembering that I must consciously plan my time, and that my goal of being calm and peaceful is vitally important.

While managing stress levels may not be your solution to managing your temper, I hope it encourages you to look inward and determine what situations are precursors for your own.  Learning these things about yourself is an important step to mitigating conflicts, managing mood, and maintaining healthy relationships.

You Never Listen to ME!

How do you get your point across when your spouse (or sibling, friend, parent) won’t listen? When it comes to having differences of opinion, it’s often difficult to get those closest to us to listen and really hear what we are trying to say.

When we know others well, we develop a short-hand with them. This feels great when our spouse (sibling, friend, etc.) seems to just “get” us, easily understanding our actions or decisions.  But it feels lousy when we are on opposite sides of an issue - especially if they are jumping to conclusions or won’t hear our perspective on a subject. What can be done?

It’s very important to have ground rules for discussing difficult issues. It provides both sides with a road map that promotes listening and understanding, and it creates opportunity for shared decision making and planning. Here are some basic ground rules to try:

1. Take Turns - One person gets the floor at a time. S/he explains his point of view, rationale, supporting details, etc.  The other person listens.
2. No interruptions – This means no dissenting comments, and whoever has the floor is the only one sharing information or opinions.
3. Clarify - After each person is done speaking, the listener must ask questions to clarify what s/he heard. The purpose here is to assure both sides that the listener understands the perspective of the speaker.  Achieving a full level of understanding is key - and does not require the listener to be in agreement.  Reaching a point of strong clarity may take some time and lead to added discussion.
4. Confirm – Once clarity is believed to have been achieved, the listener needs to sum up what s/he understood to be the point of view or rationale of the other side. If the listener doesn’t have it right, return to step 3 and continue the discussion.

These four ground rules are to be used for hearing each side to a story. While hearing only one side may seem sufficient as it changes the thoughts of the other person, take advantage of the momentum and find out what the other party was upset about or uncomfortable with in the first place. By determining where the initial misunderstanding or disagreement came from, you can prevent future disagreements from arising. You may even create a stronger short-hand with this person as a result.

Are Metrics Killing Morale?

Metrics.  They’re everywhere.  They’re ubiquitous and overused.  And they’re killing us in the workplace. 

Before entering into private practice, I worked for a non-profit organization that decided to begin a new reporting protocol to track the services used by our client population.  That might sound reasonable, except that a similar program was already in place, and the original reports were not being replaced by this new, more time-consuming one.   Further, there was no clear purpose or benefit for the added information.  Our already over-worked team was shaken at the idea of being asked to duplicate their time-consuming paperwork. 

My husband, an IT professional, has experienced different challenges with metrics.  He has been asked to track and report on the usage of each piece of equipment (information that he notes has never led to change) and each client interaction.  The latter with the unfortunate focus (and reward) being on the number of clients served.  This client-service tracking led some techs to reduce their customer service or take costly short-cuts.  In this case, the metrics incentivized poor service.   

And while working with clients, I have learned of similar challenges and frustrations that were tied to seemingly irrelevant record keeping and tracking.  Some of these situations were at the core of staff member conflicts, taking the form of insubordination, or inter-team conflicts.   

Looking at the above situations, the use of metrics brought about an increase in workplace tensions and conflict, a lowering of productivity and morale, and a reduction in customer service and satisfaction.   How did this happen?  Aren’t metrics supposed to help us improve processes, customer service, and profitability?   As I see it, yes and no.  

Yes, they can (potentially) help us improve these things, but no, they aren’t always the right answer for accomplishing the goal.   

Here’s the limitation - Metrics cannot take the place of good management, careful oversight, or involved, committed employees.  They cannot make necessary inferences and watch for confirmation of the results.  These qualities are why we prefer a person for customer service over an automated system.  And these human elements are at the core of eliminating theft, building productivity, and enhancing customer interaction.  Humans have the ability to ask a question, seek more information when needed, interpret, intuit, and comprehend.  Data limits this – and us.   

If we really want to bring about important change, or track concerns or issues in the workforce, we need to communicate this to our managers and employees.  We must enlist their intelligence, creativity and support in accomplishing the goals intended.  We need to engage them in planning, and conversely, we need to listen to their needs.  To accomplish our goals and build a strong team, we need to bring about change in a cohesive way; One that allows for unguarded information sharing, open communication and reciprocal trust.  Only then can we begin to work collectively to reaching our goals – and only then will the goals actually matter.

What Matters Most (to me)?

I have a novel approach to the New Year’s Resolution and it’s my own goal for 2014.  Forget the typical resolutions.  My plan?  To do less, to take on less, and with that goal - to be more present.

It sounds easy, but I think this will be one of my hardest resolutions yet.  It starts by taking stock of what I am doing.  Here’s what I know:  I am busy – to a near chaotic level – most of the time.  I don’t even know what’s taking up my time.  Is it purposeful?  Is it necessary? 
And I see it all around me.  We are better connected worldwide, and yet less connected to those we see face to face: our neighbors, co-workers, and friends.  We can shop online at any time day or night (saving us time, right?) but are too busy to get together with those we care about. 

In my own life I recognize other elements.  I don’t sleep enough.  I feel compromised in spending time with my husband and children.  And yet I still feel pushed to do more. 

Perhaps you are experiencing the same pressures on your time, and feeling the same need to evaluate.

Here’s my plan (at least the start of it). 

1.      Take stock of what I’m doing now.  I’m going to take one week (nights and weekends included) to pay attention to the details of how I spend my time.  I will jot down notes throughout each day of what I am doing with my time.  I will likewise make a list of those less frequent but often time-consuming activities like managing my QuickBooks.

2.      Charting and categorizing.  Next I’m going to set aside a day to pour over those notes.  I’m going to create categories to identify how my time is spent, and how much time is spent on each activity.  I will also jot down the purpose (short or long term) for engaging in each behavior, and its potential value to me or others. 

3.      Analyze the results.  Now seeing where and how my time is spent, where do changes need to be made?  Am I spending too much time on a particular business activity?  Do I have a good balance between personal time and business time?  Am I operating on each during the right hours of the day?  Are my activities necessary and purposeful?  Am I wasting time online?  So many questions that I cannot answer until I survey my time.

4.      Identify what I want.  Once I know what I am doing, it’s easier to evaluate what I’d like to be doing (with a realistic sense of how I currently spend my time).  How much time do I want to spend on business activities?  Do I want to devote nights and weekends exclusively to family?  How often do I want to go to the gym?  What does my preferred week (hour by hour) really look like?

5.      Create a new plan (I hope this part will be fun). Once I identify what I am doing, and what I’d like to be doing, I hope to be able to create a schedule that works for me.  Perhaps this will be liberating as I realize that I don’t have time to participate in that discussion group I felt pressured to join, or to attend that function clear across town.  It may also mean committing to an undisturbed four hours of prep time for a program that I typically spend six hours preparing.  As I become aware of how my time is spent, compared to how I’d like to spend it, I can make those tough decisions without feeling compromised.

6.      Making it work.  In creating a new plan, I also need to find a way to make it workable.  I’ll look to see what activities can be delegated to others.  Perhaps a subordinate can do the research; another parent can maintain the volunteer list; my husband can do the grocery shopping.  Other items may need to be released.  Maybe I need to limit my time connecting with friends/colleagues on social media, give up writing a fresh article for each newsletter I write, or stop using QuickBooks to account for every dollar I spend.

7.      Making peace with my choices.  As I choose what to change, delegate or let go of, I am sure to experience feelings of sadness or frustration.  Change is hard.  But I must also take stock of what I will be getting in exchange for these sacrifices:  A better work/life balance; a clearer sense of my own purposeful activity; more time with my husband and children. 

I have a hunch that as I manage my way through these 7 steps, I will start to feel more in control of my time and happier with my daily activities.  Whether you need to make changes personally, professionally, or (like me) across the board, choosing to do less may be the best choice you can make.